The First Date
Evan and Jacky walked up the path along the side of the old quarry as bugs flitted around their heads. The heat had finally let up when the sun went down, but now they had to deal with the near constant distraction on the questionable terrain.
“I don’t know about this, Evan…” Jacky whispered.
“Will you shut up and lift the damn thing off the ground?” he replied, “This is supposed to be fun, remember? Anyway, I’m lifting the heavy part. And why are you whispering? No one’s out here…”
Jacky nodded and lifted as high as she could, “It was a fun date until we had to carry this. Why can’t we leave it here? This seems like as good a spot as any.”
“We can’t leave it here because someone will find it. Haven’t you ever done this before?” he asked as he nearly lost his footing. “You seem like you have. Most dates I go on these days end up like this thing, so I try not to go on many dates.”
“I’m really glad you did,” she beamed.
Jacky’s grip slipped and she dropped her end as a shoe came off. Evan tried to recover but the body was too much for him, so it tumbled down the embankment. It reached the edge and the shirt caught on a root, dangling the body a hundred feet above the quarry bottom.
“Shit…” Evan muttered as he began the slow descent to the edge.
“What should we do after this?” Jacky asked as she looked on.
Evan paused just before the dangling corpse, “You want ice cream?”
He kicked the corpse hard, and though it shifted it didn’t quite get free of its tether.
“I’m lactose intolerant…” Jacky replied making a face and patting her stomach.
Evan paused again, looking up at her, “I know a great place downtown that serves-hold on-” He slid a foot closer to the edge, secured a handhold and kicked as hard as he could. The body came free and began falling as he turned to go back up. “-lactose-free ice cream,” he continued as the sickening crack of the body hitting the bottom of the quarry echoed out, “It’s great. It’s a soy base, but you wouldn’t even know it with how rich it is.”
“Really?” Jacky asked as he arrived back at the top.
“Yeah, my treat for a perfect date,” he beamed, “after I get changed though. This outfit needs some serious cleaning after this hike.”