Indecision & Insanity
“What the fuck is your problem!” Gwen yelled as I paced the living room. “You’ve been pacing for hours without saying a word.”
“I don’t know,” I said shaking my head, “Everything is just wrong, you know? Everything is off somehow, and I can’t figure it out. I should be doing something-anything-to be productive, but I can’t figure out what.”
“What about reorganizing the guest room? You usually love that,” Gwen suggested.
I shot her a look, “I just did that two days ago. We haven’t even used it yet.”
“Alright, what about kidnapping someone so you can use it? That usually makes you happy,” she said.
“What if I grab an innocent? How would that help anything? I’d have all the arousal of kidnapping with none of the satisfaction of actually torturing them,” I replied.
I looked out the window as a family walked by, complete with two parents and three kids plodding along with a little brown puppy that was happily jumping through the grass.
“What about a kid?” I asked, “You want to have kids? I’ve never really thought about it, but maybe that’s what’s wrong. I’m in my thirties and still haven’t-”
“I don’t want to have a baby, Henry,” Gwen said. “Correction, I won’t have a baby. Do you realize that we kill people? People that will hunt down anything dear to us just to make us suffer. That’s a hard pass, buddy.”
“But it would be so cute. With your little nose and plump little cheeks,” I said teasing her, “And you would be a great mom. You’d kill anyone that messed with the little shit machine.”
“Henry, if you don’t stop now, I’m going to shoot you in the balls,” Gwen said pulling out her pistol.